Risky Business is possibly one of the best (and cheesiest!) '80s films, and introduced Rebecca De Mornay with real style... Excellent idea for a film, and very amusing too.

Favourite parts:
'Guido the killer pimp'
'Porsche fishing'
'Grunt twice if you understand'

Favourite quotes:
"Do you notice something wrong - something unpleasant? A preponderance of bass perhaps? It's not a toy..."
"Sometimes you have to say 'what the f-ck!'"
"Great! I've got a Trade midterm tomorrow and I'm being chased by Guido the Killer Pimp!"
"Oh look, out taking a drive in Daddy's car"...
..."HIT IT!"
"Fully equipped dungeons"
"When you put your good money down, you know you need to be getting what you want. You don't buy Sony if you want RCA"
"Do you want to come and get ice creams and get high?"
"Start the car Joel"
"I think I'm going to throw up. I think I'm going to throw up over you Joel"
"Porsche - there's no substitute"...
..."F-ck you!"
"How much for the glass artsy fartsy thing?"


Saturday Night Fever has to be one of the most underrated films out there. So, it's Disco, but it actually has some kind of real plot, and a lot of good action along the way. It's a real barometer of style and change - it nails 1977 perfectly.

Strange if you've seen shots of the premier of Star Wars - everyone looks like Tony or Stephanie!

Favourite parts:
'The bridge'
'The contest'
'The ramraid and fight'

Favourite quotes:
"Owww! You almost broke my pussy finger!"....
..."You wouldn't know which finger it was!"
"These tapes are, like, 4 years old!"...
..."You want some tapes... I'll get some new tapes"
"I hear she likes the taste of communion wafers"
"That's the first time I let a known rapist in my apartment..."
"After I paint the hall I'm going to paint my wife's arse purple"...
..."What colour is it now?"...
..."You want to know what colour my wife's arse is!??"...
..."You brought it up!"...
..."Right now it ain't got no colour, except those stripey stretch marks"



The Rutles - All You Need Is Cash is a more 'grown up' version of This is Spinal Tap in some respects, but no less funny. The film stars the 'actual Paul Simon', Mick Jagger, and George Harrison. This last is interesting as this is a Beatles mock up film, which contains such well-known hits as 'Ouch!', 'Piggy in the middle', 'Tragical History Tour' and of course 'Love Life'. The music itself is hilarious, although also very well written and recorded. And when you hear it was written by Eric Idle, well, that says it all - surreal!

Favorite parts:
'The Actual Paul Simon'
'Der Rat Keller'
'Love Life live TV transmission'
'Tragical History Tour'
'Piggy In The Middle'

Favourite quotes:
"You are the man who turned down all those millions of album sales, gold disks, merchandise, tours, films..."...
..."Yer, that's right"...
..."What's it like to be such an arsehole!?"...
"I want to be two hairdressers"
"I want to lead a squadron of tanks"
"The Rutles - a legend that will last a lunchtime"


Shrek needs no introduction, and is in my opinion so far the best animated film I've seen - simply because it's funny and well crafted; it doesn't look as good as Final Fantasy Spirits Within, but at least Shrek makes sense!

Favourite parts:
'The first visit to Duloc'
'Fairytale creatures'
'The frog and snake balloons'

Favourite quotes:
"I'm not a puppet - I'm a real boy"
"Dead braud OFF the table!"
"You're a monster!"
"Do you think he's compensating for something?"
"By day one way, by night another"
"Onions have layers! Ogres have layers!!!"
"Do I detect a hint of minty freshness?"

Look closely at Shrek, and then the more recent photos of me... Aside from the green skin and excessive, the similarities are striking - right down to the teeth, eye colour and eyebrow bushiness, and the ears... The proof is here:

- I'm deeed sexy!


This Is Spinal Tap is the mockumentary that EVERYONE knows about. That's probably because it is one of the best. It spoofs bands such as Whitesnake, and is highly amusing - musically, it's a laugh riot!

Favourite parts:
'Stone Henge'
'amps that go up to 11'
'the folded bread'

Favourite quotes:
"...my libido
I want to sink her with my pink torpedo"
"Why not make 10 one higher than on other amps?....."...
..."......These go up to 11"
"Listen to that sustain - waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah"
"Shark sandwich - sh-t sandwich"
"So, are you just going to milk it in Europe for a few more years?"


Titanic - as with The Matrix, no introduction necessary. I saw this 5 TIMES in the cinema - simply because although the script isn't the best on earth, the ship was, and is so faithfully reproduced here that I nearly creamed myself. I'm a true Titanic buff, so the scene where the ship morphs from the wreck to dockside at Southampton literally made me gasp the first time I saw it!

My biggest gripe is the line: "The ship is too big with too small a rudder - she couldn't corner worth a damn"... Sorry, but her sister the Olympic never hit a 'berg, and only hit the Nantucket lightship because it was deep fog.... I digress...

Favourite parts:
'the dining room grand supper'
'a party in third class'
'the chase down the Grand Staircase'
'trapped by the gates'
'the man bouncing off the propeller'

Favourite quotes:
"Titanic was called the ship of dreams. And it was. It really was"
"Thanks for that fine forensic analysis Mr Bodeen - the reality was, tch, somewhat different..."
"Do you want to hear this or not, Mr Lovett?"
"You do get around - for a pau... well, a person of limited means"
"I see you had that undertaker of a manservant follow me? How typical"
"A real man makes his own luck"
"Teach me to ride like a man"....
..."And chew tobacco like a man"...
..."And SPIT like a man!"...
..."What? They didn't teach you that at finishing school"
"It was the most erotic moment of my life - up until then, at least"
"I believe you'll get your headlines, Mr Ismay"
"I intend t-t-to wr-r-rite a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all this"


Toy Story was the first really decent computer animated film, and it's still great now! Although Toy Story 2 is 'technically' better, the first still has the more fresh feel. I like the fact that all the toys can be bought - nice product placement!

Favourite parts:
'Pizza Planet'
'the mystic portal awaits'
'rocket power'
'a puppy'

Favourite quotes:
"You are a toy. T O Y TOY!!!"
"I mean Humpty Dumpty was pushed - by Woody!"
"Oh no - Sid!"
"I can't find my Buzz!"



I don't need to say much about this - if you haven't seen it by now, you probably never will!

A dark look at a bunch of Scottish heroin addicts, though with some black comedy thrown in. The scene of withdrawal is foul....

Favourite parts:
'Begby pulls a tranny'
'Mark and Spud and the speed'
'Spud's interview'

Favourite quotes:
"We'd inject vitamin C if only they'd make it illegal!"
"He's always been lacking in moral fibre"...
..."Aye, but he knows a lot about Sean Connory"...
..."That's hardly a substitute!"
"Are you her flatmates, like?"...
..."That's a good one!"


Cheech & Chong's up In Smoke - this is the ultimate dopehead movie, but non-druggies will love it too, provided they ignore the legal and moral issues related to drug taking....

This film is classic - simple as that!

Favourite parts:
'searching for a lid'
'the rocking van'
'the Battle of the Bands gig'

Favourite quotes:
"Oh man, my dog ate all my stash. I had to follow it around for like 3 days..."
"Am I driving OK?"...
..."I think we're stopped"
"OH man, Vodka!!!"
"We've smoked this whole lid and I ain't even high, man"
"The TV set IS the marijuana"


I rented the Wedding Singer as I missed it at the flicks, and I was gutted I did miss it! Brilliant film - really cool, so 1985 - all they missed was the Duran Duran/Howard Jones flavour - I guess they weren't as big in Middle America....

Favourite parts:
'the dumpster'
'love stinks'
'limo driver workout'
'the plane trip'

Favourite quotes:
"Beer equals puke equals smelly mess equals no-one likes you"
"Everybody spread the word
I live in my sister's basement
All across the world
"He's losing his mind, and I'm reaping all the benefits"
"Hello. I'm Mrs Julia Gulia...."
"Out of my way Billy, or you're going to get hurt!"

©2000 dB
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